I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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