I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
