Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
