Having a random hookup so left but love u
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
