My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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