I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize