arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Holy sore nipples Batman
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
