SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
