champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
