Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize