you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
