My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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