bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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