I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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