I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
