After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
