pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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