Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
