im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
