Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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