I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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