I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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