Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
