Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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