Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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