That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
