i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
operation have a gay friend backfired
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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