moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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