The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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