We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
