i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize