well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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