remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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