do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
