Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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