so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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