I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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