Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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