bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize