i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think people are normalizing furries
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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