Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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