If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
40s are totally the cure
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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