Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i will never coherently bang her
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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