...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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