His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize