Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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