i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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