I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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