so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
