i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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