Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
