my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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