Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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