You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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