Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
