Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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