Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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